Second to Last Day

Well all, I realize I have been pretty lame lately as far as updating, oops, sorry. I’d say that things have been busy but really it has more so just been laziness and lack of effort. I’ve been focusing my time on other things, such as making this video, preparing for registration at the U, handing in final papers, watching Two and A Half Men and falling evermore in love with Charlie Sheen, etc. etc. etc. I know, I know, I’m a losah!

The past few weeks have seemed so slow, but at the same time have passed by so quickly. Jess’s brother Michael came to visit over the weekend, and the three of us spent the day at Sea World, which was a blast. Sometimes I think I am still twelve years old at the way I react to the sight of dolphins…. They left Monday to do some traveling, and it really sucked having to say goodbye to Jess. We have become so close over this trip that I still don’t think it has sunk in that she isn’t going to be walking through our apartment door in a few days and it will all be the same as before she left. The reality is, the next time I see her it will most likely be in Seattle, in a completely different set of circumstances than where we are now. It makes me sad just thinking about not having her part of my days each and every day, but it makes me cherish the friendship we have developed over the past few months even more.

Since she left, Melissa and I have for the most part been pretty lazy. Tomorrow is our last day, so we have to spend the day busting our butts cleaning the apartment and finishing packing. Then we have our last night at the Tav – it is going to be a blast, but sad at the same time. I am cutting Melissa off after one bottle of Goon, because I made it perfectly clear to her that I am not putting up with a cranky, hung-over Melissa on the flight back home. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m sure I’ll update tomorrow as I have time, but right now it is late, and I need sleep!

OMG

I AM SO SICK OF WORK, SO SICK OF WORK, SO SO SO SICK OF WORK! My brain feels like jelly and I have read over thiry-five “scholarly” (aka, dry-written) articles to work on this final paper and I might tumble over and collapse. After finishing the two essays last week, I feel like I should be able to celebrate and revert back to my doing-nothing-but-laying-on-the-beach routine. What the heck!

Okay, so I know I only have two weeks left of uni, but seriously, it is killing me. I keep procrastinating. Thus the blog update. This morning I woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes and for one glorious minute, thought I was upstairs in my room at home, Shawn whipping up some pancakes with the all-famous pancake maker, but alas, I was wrong. It was just Lauren.

Jess and I went to the beach today (mental preparation for the agony of paper writing for the rest of the week) and I am one big freckle explosion once again. I also found a really cool orange sweatshirt (see photos above) that smells like a very delicious smelling man. It sat there all morning so before we left I snatched it….. Jess is currently gagging and is appalled that I haven’t washed it, but like I told her, I am going to wash it, it just smells soooo gooooood……

Well, I suppose I better try to get back to work…. ugh…. two more weeks, two more weeks, two more weeks….

Rainy Day

Well folks, I have officially five weeks left of my time in Australia. I can’t quite believe it and can’t even really contain my excitement for coming home. My roommate Melissa and I will both be flying back together Friday, November 13th (I know, don’t even say anything about the freaky date, please) and we cannot shut up about how excited we are. It will be here before we know it.

Today marks the very first “true” rainy day we have ever had here. I woke up to it raining and now at 5:00 pm, it has stopped raining but the clouds are still covering the sky. I am pretty sure this is the first day we have had without the sun and I have to admit I quite like it. Melissa and I (reluctantly) did our laundry, and I started researching for another one of my essay’s. It has been nuts trying to prepare for all my final essays and projects – I really have quite a lot on my plate these last few weeks. For Media Law, I have a final essay (either on Defamation or Copyright Law) as well as an exam (yikes), but that has been on the backburner for now. This past week I spent all my hours working on my final essay for Fame & Celebrity. Granted, it was one of the more entertaining papers I have had to write for university, but it was still a hell of a lot of work. For my essay, I chose to examine the ‘celebritisation’ of Scarlett Johansson, and argued how cultural intermediaries have commodified her on the basis of her sexuality and gender. If you’d like a read of it, I’d be more than happy to get feedback, so just let me know.

Now, I am centering my focus on my Sociology of Identity essay. We have a few different directions we can choose to take, and I have decided to examine the body and identity. Basically, I have to argue how the body is one of the principal sites for the construction and production of prevailing social values and norms. Specifically, I am going to argue how the ‘hegemony of thinness’ that exists within our modern society has contributed to body modification and eating disorders as a way of forming personal identity. Research thus far has already been quite interesting, and of course I think this topic will also be quite therapeutic for me to explore. So, even though I have a lot on my plate, at least it all is personally interesting to me. It is just a bit difficult because for most of these classes, my grade is more than 50% based on these essays. That is huge and so they are quite the project to produce. Oh, I also have an entire website to design for my Digital Publishing class, but I honestly can’t even think about that right now.

Other than school work, I really haven’t had a whole lot of time for much else. Everyone is getting kind of tired out – even the Village seems to have quieted down a bit with its partying. I have to admit it is kind of refreshing, because I can actually, somewhat get a decent’s night sleep without drunken yelling at 3AM. Last night, Jessica and I took it easy. We spent the evening drooling over Keanu Reeves in ‘Speed’ and I had forgotten how good that movie is. Oh Keanu….. Do you think if maybe I get behind the wheel of a bus that has a bomb on it, I will be able to get a hunk like him to fall in love with me? If so, I will totally add that to my list of things to do before I leave. The things we must do for love…..

The Final Stretch

It is 5:00 pm here and I am sitting in my room listening to music I don’t recognize, but that is pleasant to the ear, and a sort of quiet has taken over me. It has been a long couple of days, with the heat overbearingly strong creating a hazy sense of laziness in my movements. It has been only two days since Ma left from her visit, and everyone agrees the apartment feels like something (someone) is missing.

It was a wonderful ten days with Ma. We did a litte bit of everything but a whole lot of nothing. The biggest change for me was having to get up at the buttcrack of dawn: Mom is naturally a morning person, but the jetlag made it worse. Most mornings I woke up to her tip-toeing into my temporary room (Melissa’s, as she was in New Zealand for the week), a big smile on her face asking me to help her get onto Skype to talk to Shawn and the boys. I was always groggy at first but surprisingly, now that she is gone, I find myself waking at 6 AM in the morning ready to start the day. We went to the beach nearly everyday for hours at a time, which I attribute to Ma wanting to be so dark she would be rendered unrecognizable upon returning home. I have to admit I did enjoy it very much, though – I am no longer transparent like a ghost and am quite impressed to be as tan as I am, for never have I been so dark in my life. The ocean is starting to grow warmer and we walked along the shore and dipped our feet within the crests of waves that crashed on the shore. Sometimes Ma would just go on her own, and I would wake up and see her standing on the edge of the ocean and would think to myself, She is the most beautiful woman in the entire world.

We had a two day getaway in Sydney, in which my roommate Jessica joined us, and it was refreshing to be in the city again. Sydney is a lot like New York: very cosmo, very fast-paced, but a hell of a lot cleaner. We went to the Opera House, walked along Darling Harbour, took a ferry to Manly Beach, wandered through the Botanical Gardens, and drank giant Cosmo’s for happy hour. The hotel we stayed at was breathtaking (thanks Shawn) and it was nice to get away, although I have to admit I am really glad I chose the laidback coast to attend university. Sydney is kind of suffocating in the same way New York and most big cities are. Living on the Coast has helped me to take a step back and not take myself so seriously, and I am very grateful for it.

I have only five weeks left in the semester and it is quite hard to believe time has flew by so quickly. In these remaining weeks, I have over 5,000 words of essays to write, final exams to take, as well as a whole website to design. A part of me is having a mini spazz attack at all I have to complete, but deep down I know I will get it done and it will all work out fine. The hectic schedule will probably benefit me in the long run, as I know the weeks are going to fly past and before I know it I will be stepping off the plane in the Minneapolis airport, trading my flip-flops for my beloved black Uggs (guilty pleasure) and wrapping up in my winter coat. I am so excited to go back to the States, but at the same time, I am enjoying every second of these last few weeks. I may never pass this way again, and I want to make the most of the time I have left with these people that have turned from strangers to friends, with the land that has transformed from foreign to familiar, with the four walls surrounding me that have become home. It really is a strange thing, but I am trying not to waste too much time thinking about it right now and just “being” in it.

Other random news: poor Eddie is sick so send well wishes his way. Ed, you better be better by the time I get back in November because you and Sam both know I will be dragging you to the cinemas with me again, chick-flicks and all. Matt & Aaron are doing well in football, and I am so mad I am missing all their games, but I know Linda has undoubtedly been getting lots of photographs and film of the boys and Coach Dad in action for me to watch when I get back. Today my Digital Publishing streamed the Packers and Vikings game in class (oh, Australia) so in my own little way I was a part of the good ‘ole Minnesota victory!

Well, evening is setting in and I have work to do. I probably won’t end up getting any done, but I should at least make an attempt, right? Hope everyone is doing well. I love and miss you ALL!

Well, well, well!

So, I’ve done it again – I’ve slacked off. I have to admit, time here is different than it is back home. It slips by so fast, I lose track of it. There are only five weeks left in the semester and I feel like it has only just started. A part of me is really scared about that fact, because I hate the feeling that life is going by too quickly. But another part of me has an appreciation for this new found indifference to time. Normally I am counting down the days, always looking forward to next Friday, next weekend, next month…. But being here, I have learned that there is nothing like being present. Sure, I have had my moments, and of course I am looking forward to coming home to see all my family and friends again. And yet, I am okay with just taking things are they are and being in the moment. This trip has taught me to stop wishing your life away… to just live it.

And I have been. Well, for the most part. There is something to be said about taking the time to do “nothing” and just taking things day by day…. that seems to be the Aussie way. I am getting accustomed to random hour long conversations with the roomies in the kitchen, late mornings, and afternoon naps on the beach, so I have to say I am a bit worried about entering the “real world” and working for eight to ten hour shifts at a time. Yikes. But it hasn’t been all laziness. I am proud to say over that over the past 21 days I have ran 75 miles, so I am continuing to grow closer to accomplishing my goal of 100 miles in 30 days. In fact, based on my running plan for this upcoming week, I should hit the 100 mile mark by Thursday, beating my goal by four days. Ma, those new pair of running shoes you bought me before I left are most definitely getting put to use.

It is starting to get warmer with each day that passes. You can just feel it in the heat. I am tanner than I have ever been in my life even though I am obsessive about wearing my sunscreen since there is no ozone layer here. My face is freckle galore, but I have only gotten sunburned once so I think I am faring well. The next week is going to be a busy one for me: I have a big essay to finish as well as a project for my Digital Publishing class. The work will be worth it though, because by Friday, Ma will finally be here! I am so excited to share this with her and show her around. I wish I was Paris Hilton so I could fly my entire family out here to see me; I so badly wish we could have a BuzzendaWinkle party and rock the Village, but I also recognize how lucky I am to a) be here at all, and b) even have someone to come visit. Maybe if I make it big in Hollywood and start reelin’ in the big bucks I’ll be able to afford to fly everyone out. Someday….

Until then, I hope everyone is doing well. I miss ya’ll and am so grateful for all of your support. Sending my love across the ocean….

Brisbane Festival Fireworks

I’ve always loved fireworks. And these were amazing.

Uh-oh, it’s Gopher Football Season

This is why I cannot skype while football is on over at the Winkle household:

What is happiness?

HAPPINESS IS….

*The sound of the ocean, with your feet in the sand
*Smiles from strangers in passing; the acknowledgment of your existence
*That moment in your run where you feel like you are on top of the world… like you could keep running forever, even though your legs are numb and the heat is overpowering… and you keep going
*Watching a movie and having Jess look over at me with a look of awe on her face saying, “Do you realize you are shaking your whole entire leg right now? And the whole couch?”
*Waking up to the sound of rain outside your window and letting it sing you back to sleep
*Grams & Grampsicle’s house jam-packed with the cackling hens & co.
*Getting letters from the people you love, and knowing distance never changes anything
*Cheerios and bananas for breakfast
*Watching your amazing little brothers transform and grow into beautiful people
*Shawnee…. after he’s had his first pot of coffee
*The sound of my mother’s laughter and the warmth of her embrace
*White Christmas’s with the family, temporarily putting our lives on hold and just being together and letting that be enough
*Loving and feeling loved in return
*Airports and big suitcases and the uncertainty of what will happen next
*Getting completely and utterly lost inside of a book and not wanting it to end
*Knowing that someone sees all of your ugliness but somehow still thinks you are beautiful
*When my Dad says “Hey sweets” or calls me “R,” making me know I will be his little girl forever
*Falling asleep to “My Hiding Place”
*Air hugs and kisses from Matt & Aaron on skype
*Rosie Thomas and coffee…. with coffeemate
*When someone you meet just briefly recognizes you three weeks later and remembers your name
*Linda’s homecookin’ and the way she always hugs me when she sees me
*Knowing that the future is limitless and that it is okay to be afraid, but having faith that everything will end up right as it belongs

I have only been here for a little over two months and if I have learned one thing so far, it is has been the affirmation that I am completely and utterly blessed with all of the people I have in my life. And that my life is not determined by others, but rather it is my canvas to paint whatever the hell I want. And that time, like distance, may heal the wounds, but it never takes away love or the people that matter most. And that life can be good… very good. You just have to let yourself feel it.

Sometimes I feel very small and insignificant

“And who am I supposed to be?
Everybody seems to see, except for me.
Who cares anyway?
Cause when it’s over, it’s all over
And what you gain you throw away.

When will love ever find me?
All my life, all I’ve craved is to be seen
Who cares anyway?
Cause when it’s over…
All that matters is the love you gave away.”

Ahh, Fridays

Today I woke up to the sound of the rain pitter-pattering on my window, the clouds like a blanket over the blue sky, and the first thing I did was smile. The breeze had a coolness to it that I couldn’t help but to welcome in, even as I shivered under the covers. Rare is the day that it rains in Australia during the dry season, and so even though the rain lasted no more than a half hour, I enjoyed every second of it. The sound of it was like a song, and I just let myself take it all in, feeling the moment.

I had planned on going to the beach, but was content to just relax at ‘home’ instead given the weather patterns. Plus, I felt exhausted all over, and I have reason to be: this week was the first in my goal to run 100 miles in 30 days. Since last Sunday, I have put in 27 miles after my run today and my body is definitely feeling it, but not in a bad way. I feel very strong and it is rewarding to have something to work toward. It isn’t easy…two nights ago I was so tired and didn’t feel like doing the second run of the day and I moaned throughout the apartment, “I’m tiiiiiiiiiired.” Melissa, who knows of my goal, pops her head out of her room and yells, “Naw girl, you’re BADASS!” It made me laugh and was just what I needed to put that spring in my step. I will hopefully have reached my goal the 29th of September, and by that point Mom will be here, so we can properly celebrate. Ma, I expect you to be singing the Rocky theme just like you do at home after I complete the 100th mile, got it? Good.

All in all, today was a lazy day. Jessica and I walked the two mile trek to get groceries this afternoon, and it was nice to restock up on my favorite snacks. I have officially become addicted to dried tropical fruit as the result of being here. It is simply amazing and is my new way of satisfying that sweet craving. And it is much healthier than my normal way doing of that! And of course, I am also taking full advantage of the opportunity to buy fresh fruit as well. The bananas and kiwi are a staple in my diet. Other than that, I am starting to cook a bit. My new favorite is boiled spinach mixed with carrots, as inspired by Chef Linda Winkle. It really isn’t difficult at all, but I always am proud that I actually “cooked” something. Plus, I like seeing Jessica’s reaction as she gags and has a look of absolute terror on her face as I eat it.

I’m not sure exactly what is on the agenda for tomorrow. Jessica has an exam (on a Saturday! Yuck!) in the morning so we are taking it easy tonight, but possibly may go into Brisbane again tomorrow for market. Every Saturday, they have the cutest little market set up, filled with all sorts of antiques, clothes, and the like, as well as yummy food stands. I’ll take photos if we go. Sunday or Monday I plan to go to the beach, but only after I find another book to get my hands on. I have rekindled my love for reading (well, it has always been there, it is just that reading for school all the time has distracted me) and in just three days have finished Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult. It is a fantastic book for anyone who is looking for a good read. I have very much missed getting lost into the world of fiction, falling in love and identifying with the characters, piecing together little moments that remind me of things that I see, hear, sense, and feel in my life everyday… Used book shop, here I come!

Speaking of reading, I stumbled upon a very interesting article, here at one of my favorite blogs that everyone should take a look at when they get a chance. It cites a recent Wall Street Journal article that looks at a study done on 4th grade girls in 1986 about their thoughts on dieting, thinness, and media images and its follow-up, revisiting the now full grown women and asking them the same questions now.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well at home. I miss ya’ll and know I carry you all with me during my days here. Love you all!